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Old 04-27-2012, 06:38 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,444

1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.
The ability to be in love with more than one person at a time, or the fact of being in love with more than one person at a time.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.
I'm 27, French, vegetarian, straight and poly.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any?[...] Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?
Right now I have one partner, Seamus, who I consider my husband although we aren't married. I also have one interest but as he's Seamus's coworker I am not pursuing it.
I have had as much as two partners (Raga and Seamus) and an interest.

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?
My ideal poly family is between people who know each other well and get along. People who are all friends even though they're not all involved with everyone.

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?
I'm mostly out. I don't hide it but it doesn't always come up. I don't tell the cashier at the grocery store that I'm poly, for instance. But it's well-known in the various forums I participate, and to my friends.
I'm satisfied with it, although sometimes I wish it was written on my face so I didn't have to say it when people assume otherwise.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?
No, I think they might be better or worse for specific people, but not overall. I think there isn't a "one true way" and that everyone should find the dynamics that works best for them.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?
The best thing is the freedom to be open and happy about your feelings towards multiple people at once, and not consider it something that is wrong with you. The worst thing is being such a minority that a) you need to explain what it is constantly and b) it's harder to find partners who are okay with it.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?
No. I mean, I have been happy in relationships with just one person, I am right now. But I could never stop myself from falling in love, and knowing that nothing can come out of it, ever, would destroy me.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?
I see it as a relationship orientation, so I don't think it's really something to recommend as it might not be the right thing for other people. But I certainly hope to show it's an option through practicing it openly and happily.
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