I cannot believe it has been so long since I wrote last. Jewell and I have some drop down drag out fights. If I got on here and maybe I should write more when I get in tough spots, I would have said some pretty nasty things about Jewell.
Here is something I started writing:
I am not going to sugar coat this one I believe that Jewell is being an absolute jerk lately. It began to grow when I left last Tuesday. The Dew was sick. I was going to call Lover and call off my town trip. He came over way early. I decided to go with to get fresh food and run my few errands. I offered to come home that night but she said it was all fine. The next day everyone came over to Lovers and The Dew was fine. We came home and the house was a absolute mess. I got mad about it. I must admit that yes in a way I was slightly out of line. I have had sick kids with no help and still kept everything in order.
We got into a huge fight about that. She turns around and calls me judgmental when I ask her to take more time with the kids, and read to them, or ask that she make better meals for the kids when I am gone. Instead of just letting them snack around most of the day.
She also says the sexual excitement in me is gone. I wonder why. She wants to uncover that can of worms fine. She wont touch me.
It took us about 2 weeks to sort through it all. What still pisses me off is in times of dire stress or one of our kids going through a phase I get shit. She drags out my skeletons and then turns around and makes herself a martyr. Its not fair to me. I bust my ass just as hard to get things done. When it comes down hard. Its her that does it all and it must be a crack in my character somewhere.
For example, I pinned her down on our food issue. Food is getting hard to afford. We aren't struggling that bad. It is just that she wants to eat at a higher level (more organic) and I would so agree, but I have so much in the budget for food. With four people to feed, and all the meals to make from scratch, its not easy. I have to cook from scratch as much as possible being lactose intolerant, and having sever migraines with preservatives. I offered her to take over for a month and she glared at me and left.
I am asking for more help when I ask her to spend more time with the kids, and yes read to them. She needs to focus in on them more. She actually took on a discipline issue I was having with The Dew the other day. Usually she "disappears" when I have to get "un-fun" with the kids. This time The Dew had pushed her a little to far, and she got timed out by her. Wow, guess what she told me. She behaves much better when the two of us work together. Its always just you and she sees you as just a meenie. Dhua. Can she keep it up. She has read them 2 books since I begged, last month.
I am playing mother and father here. I school The Dew, keep the house clean, run the business, take care of the errands in town, keep the budget in order, feed everyone, take care of Woogie, Play with/read too both kids. I don't want to martyr myself. I just want more help.
Her focus is on our goats. Everything is the goats. I want to cut the goat number down way down to 10. I need her, and her focus. She don't see that. When I brought up dropping the goat numbers she got bent out of shape that Lover didn't like that many? I tried to explain to her that has nothing to do with it. I want her focus. I am tiered of goats. I am tiered of everything.
I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.