Basically I didn't say beforehand that eye contact was needed. When I felt the connection fading I would look inside and figure out what I needed to keep it. I asked him to open his eyes and I locked onto them and searched them. Instead of feeling invaded by his eyes I looked deeper and deeper like I was trying to see his soul through his eyes. I was so focused on gaining this connection that fear wasn't even a factor.
I think you need to dig deeper into yourself. When you are ready it won't matter that you are scared because you will know there's no reason to be scared....
I will tell you something my sister told me just this year that really and truly healed me. Something simple.... You are not that little girl anymore. You are a grown woman , strong, and wise. He can't ever ever touch the child you used to be because the woman (here) is not that child.
After she said that... never again did I shrink up into that child when I heard "his" name.