Dear Dingedheart, I have never really thought out from where this idea of living together started getting problematic for me. From the beginning, as a sixteen year old girl, I had ideas of living with women, though I am straight (at least, all my romances have been with men). I have lived most of my life in a college hostel with other women, where there is a private room, but, lots of company of women. Till the age of 28, I had thought, I would share my life with a very close woman friend, but, never thought of her as a sexual partner, and even now, cannot. Later, we both realized that as straight women, it was difficult for us to actually work that out because we both got into involvements with men and our teenage fantasies just got brushed aside.
My one relationship of living under the same roof happened in my five year involvement with a man. We lived together for two years and that was very bad, because we started getting on each other's nerves. then, i got a job elsewhere fortunately, and that was the time, I enjoyed most in that relationship. my idea of love is communication, and it didnt matter to me that we were physically away. Also, while I enjoy sex, I am not the kind who wanted it on an everyday basis.
My present partner is also (at least with me) not very demanding of sex on a daily basis. He is a romantic person. But, his ideal was definitely not an LDR. Whereas, mine had become that, without me realizing it. So, I actively pursued the job that came up, and dramatically, it came up, one week after we both decided to be with each other. He was upset, got drunk and shouted at me for deciding to go away. I told him, he was free to walk out now. I had totally destroyed my career in the former relationship because the person concerned had made me resing a good job and my career had never taken off. But, it is true that I have not made enough effort to communicate all this complexity to my present partner. You are right in focussing on the LDR thing because it does seem to have worked in different ways for both of us.
We have dated for one and a half years before getting married.