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Old 04-26-2012, 10:06 AM
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Mya Mya is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 538

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Awww, Mya, that restless feeling - you just sound all giddy and full of NRE.

Breathe. Rory's right, I think. It need not be a big deal to talk to Bob. In the beginning it can be hard to know how often to contact a new lover, but all you can do is reach out and see how long he takes to respond, and then sit with it for a bit. You can even toss in something like a casual, "hope I'm not bothering you" when you text him and see what he says.

But I think it might even be a little too soon to ask for an assessment of where it's going. Why not just keep it loose for a while and make plans with him when you can, not getting focused on what "the schedule" will be. I am also someone who ruminates and analyzes stuff, and I have found it to be a valuable lesson not to give in to the temptation to spew all my thoughts and questions on someone. I get to really feel the "not knowing" in my bones and it helps me get more comfortable with uncertainty.
Noooooo, not NRE! It can't be, we don't even have a relationship.

I agree with you and think it's too soon to talk about schedules, definitely. Or any kind of plans for the future. Although I will have to have a discussion with him at some point, it's not going to happen yet. I'm just so used to talking about everything with rory and nowadays also with JJ (we've grown to be much better communicators with each other through poly) that it just feels weird not talking about every single emotion or thought I have with that person. But also, it is very important to get comfortable with uncertainty so I'll take this opportunity to learn that. Maybe it's not so bad not knowing right away what the other one is thinking.
Me: bi woman in my 30's
Casually dating Marco and Noel
Living with Dahlia and Eddie (friends)

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