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Old 04-26-2012, 09:27 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Awww, Mya, that restless feeling - you just sound all giddy and full of NRE.

Breathe. Rory's right, I think. It need not be a big deal to talk to Bob. In the beginning it can be hard to know how often to contact a new lover, but all you can do is reach out and see how long he takes to respond, and then sit with it for a bit. You can even toss in something like a casual, "hope I'm not bothering you" when you text him and see what he says.

But I think it might even be a little too soon to ask for an assessment of where it's going. Why not just keep it loose for a while and make plans with him when you can, not getting focused on what "the schedule" will be. I am also someone who ruminates and analyzes stuff, and I have found it to be a valuable lesson not to give in to the temptation to spew all my thoughts and questions on someone. I get to really feel the "not knowing" in my bones and it helps me get more comfortable with uncertainty.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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