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Old 04-26-2012, 08:59 AM
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Mya Mya is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 503

Originally Posted by rory View Post
Btw, Mya, I don't think the talk with Bob needs to be all that big unless you think that it has to and thus make it so. There's no rule that you can't just ask, casually "I was wondering how you feel about things between us and how often would you like us to meet. I was thinking X, how does that sound?". Then he says "I'm fine, I was thinking Y, does that work for you?", and you say, "Great". No Big Discussion. Unless either one of you directs it into the Big Discussion Ground, but you won't if you don't feel like you want to do that, and if he does then surely he's not scared of it. (You do need to know what X is, first. I.e. what you want.) What do you think? [Unless a Big Discussion is what you want, which I think is totally fine even with casual, but I obviously don't know his thoughts.]
You're right that it doesn't need to be a Big Discussion. I guess I'm a bit afraid that all those kinds of discussions that involve the future somehow, even if it's about how often we'd like to see each other, seem kinda big in this situation. I mean, how often do friends have a discussion about how often they'd like to see each other? It just happens naturally and takes the form it takes. I feel like it might be too much of a commitment even to agree seeing each other X amount regularly. But I don't know. I'm sure that because it's me we're talking about, the conversation will have to happen at some point to figure all this out.
Me: bi female in my 30's
Partner: Jasmin
Casually dating others
Living with Dahlia and Eddie (friends)

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