Wow, yeah, this added info does change things a bit. First of all, you 2 already seem kinda poly in some ways, with these intense emotional relationships you both have w others, "loving" others you call bfs and gfs.
It's very disturbing he keeps choosing women who are dissing you. wtf?
I couldnt bear that.
I am not anti-therapy as redpepper is. My ex and I had counseling several times in our lives for this or that reason in our long relationship; it did help us get over certain speedbumps and deal w putting to rest certain things from our childhoods. (We never made poly work tho... but that's irrelevant here.)
The links I provided really spell out all the stages that a couple needs to go thru, all the issues that could possibly need to be dealt with as you open a mono relationship. It's great youve both dealt already with how to feel sexual towards others w/o jealousy, now youve just got the next step of actually acting on it.
But it's not cool at all that he lets his gfs diss you.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 41, M (dating since Oct 2015)
and a few more casual relationships