Two things this made me think of. One is that I read a great research book once that had a kind of quiz for cults. I remember taking it for various situations. Many religions, Christianity and some very adamant atheists, as well as quite a few MONO relationships would qualify.
Secondly, there is SO not a live and let live philosophy in the poly community. There are a lot of 'my poly is better than yours' and somewhat superior sounding people. There is a MAJOR division between 'single' and married polys. Between hierarchal and non hierarchal. Instead of a 'what works for you as long as EVERYONE agrees' there's a very definite 'if you say it works but I still think it's unfair and wrong'.
I'll admit I'm gobsmacked by certain arrangements or situations and will ask for clarification if only to try and wrap my head around it! I try to ignore the little remarks though. As a married woman with kids I get it from all sides. Queer community doesn't quite get or accept either. I will agree, however, when you start calling people's situations cult like, you have lost the argument with me. Might as well go with the 'all poly people are pedophiles forcing girls into sexual servitude!' argument. You are just trolling, IMHO.
That or you REALLY think you aren't insulting people and I worry for your empathy skills in that case.
Me: Late 30s pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 19 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +4 year