Originally Posted by KyleKat
Instead of defending him so much, tell us more about how you feel. This is new to you but clearly not to him. He should have brought up the desire before he fell in love with someone else. Also, a lot of people here will refer to it as NRE (new relationship energy) over being in love.
Talk to him. Tell him right now you aren't comfortable with this and you need time to talk and understand.
Dear Kylie and Katie, Thanks for replying. After I wrote this, I stopped logging into the forum and I must say, I regret it deeply. Things have gone from bad to worse in our case. I cannot anymore say, I do not experience feelings of hatred towards either him or her. I have started feeling so much of hatred that I think, I did "fuck it up." I suddenly noticed that from the day he shared, things progressed in such a pace for both of them that I have been "left out." From feeling I was primary in his life, I suddenly became "you are also important for me" phase almost immediately. I became insecure and started behaving as if my life had shattered around me, screaming wildly and demanding a divorce. He is going through trauma himself and I am sure his girlfriend is, also (i am not in touch with her anymore). I am feeling guilty that the chance that we probably had to actually have an open relationship with communication is wasted now because I could not handle jealousy. He is traumatised that he has promised things which he cannot fulfil either to me or to her. I do not know her narrative and the nature of her trauma. thanks for the support and understanding...I have no idea where to go from here.