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Old 04-24-2012, 03:33 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Can I repeat what I've seen you tell others, TALK TO HIM. Now are you really afraid he would be jealous or are you feeling like you have been caught up in NRE and have been neglecting him? Sounds to me like possibly you are missing him. Sexy date nights are in order.
I don't think I have been neglecting him in any other way than maybe sexually. I am trying not to feel guilty, because when I do I just put out and don't connect with him when we have sex. We've talked about it. Its not anything new. Its part of our usual eb and flow. We never really did have an exuberant sex life I don't think. Its good, but not frequent. Married sex can be like that sometimes for some people

As for NRE I am not allowing myself to feel that and wonder if I really have any... Also something to wait and see about.

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
This is NOT your responsibility to fix! Just because you enjoy his company and he might be sexually frustrated doesn't mean you have push yourself into something you don't really feel comfortable with yet.
Yes, I agree. I wouldn't and don't push myself to put out any more with anyone. I just end up feeling resentful, pressured and used when I do. I feel sad for him and that he misses that kind of closeness.

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Stop stressing about what you think you read on his face. Sounds like you might be projecting things onto this guy based on your experience with Leo and others in your past. Stating that your not ready to cross certain lines is NOT leading him on and if he needs more it's his responsibility to speak up, not yours to guess and feel guilty about words unsaid.

Deep breath, sit back and just enjoy his company.
It turns out I was right, he is feeling sad. Mostly about what he hasn't given to his kids due to his past. He realises now how much his life could of been different years ago I think and that it took so long to make those changes. I don't feel I can explain much more than that, but he is sad underneath the happy smile. He did tell me that I am a huge source of happiness in his life because I listen to him, ask questions, am teaching him some things and care about him in a way he has never had before. He says he loves me for that. It brings him happiness that I have become someone of value in his life in terms of being a reminder that he can ask for his needs to be met, feel worthy of love and attention and that he is worth working on issues with.

He does need to speak up and I do need to keep my boundaries. Thanks for that reminder and all your reminders SNeacail
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