This looks like another one of those cases where for the male having sex is more threatening to the relationship than falling in love, while for the female, it's the falling in love part that is considered more of a threat than "just sex". (I'm not sure that "threat" is the right word for both sides, but I left it here for symmetry).
I strongly believe that we should be free to have whatever relationships we want to, whether they be friends, friends with sex, romantic with sex, romantic without sex... etc., all the way to live together and raise kids... I like the idea of things growing naturally according to our own wishes, rather than feeling boxed in by a partner or society. I definitely wish that for my partners.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb