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Old 04-23-2012, 01:45 PM
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rory rory is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Europe
Posts: 497

I was also going to write about another thing. I love, and couldn't function in another way, how me and Alec live together. We are two independent persons, with our own, quite separate lives in separate spaces, but we do come together daily for some time together. If not agreed otherwise, we eat together, while watching something relaxing from a dvd, and sleep together. And we do shopping together. Now, that may sound boring to some, but I really enjoy our routines. And I enjoy the autonomy of my own time and space. That is, we have hardly any expectations from each other time-wise even if we are both home.

However, as is maybe a common phenomenon for many who live together with a partner, when you can have quality time together almost any time, it may have the effect that you don't take the time in the right now. It tends to happen to us at times. What I mean by quality time is time where you have the energy and concentration to be completely present for each other.

I notice it first from feeling disconnected. Disconnect isn't anything dangerous, but I'd rather stay connected when it's possible to do so. The connection is, after all, one of the things I most value in a relationship, I like to enjoy that. Also, it takes some effort to reconnect, and for me it is a bit contradictory process with Alec. I don't really feel like being intimate sexually before I feel the connection again, but it is sometimes hard for us to get there without that (because that is how he best connects, and I do tend to feel a lot closer after sex, too).

Anyway, I talked with Alec about the quality time thing. He agrees that it sometimes happens that we are both so deep in our separate activities that we forget to make quality time together. It's nobody's fault, it simply happens. And it will happen again, which is alright, but for now both of us are paying a bit of attention to that. We had a really nice time together on the weekend, then, so right now no troubles with the connection thing.
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