Ugh, maybe I should give space to others for comments before I chime in? Anyways, I named her Vanilla in part because I LOVE vanilla ice-cream. Like seriously, best ice-cream there is. And the only perfume I've ever been able to use was a vanilla perfume.
For now we've agreed to keep Chip away from my life for as long as needed, because I tend to fly into murderous rages with the mention of his name. We also have both made appointments with our therapists and I hope to bring Vanilla along to my therapy session on Thu. Also, we've agreed to establish a sleeping schedule, i.e. no relationship talk after 11 pm, and for me to set down some ground rules with Cookie (so he knows what's going on and how he can avoid things getting worse through his actions).
Also, we continue working through relationship self-help books, going to dates for just the two of us outside the house, and paying attention to our sex life (trying to get some action at least three times a week).
I feel very torn about him and also somewhat addicted. When I made the WORST DECISION OF THE YEAR and had sex with him in the middle of relationship crisis and Vanilla in the next room, I felt very unloved and undesired. I had just accidentally seen a lengthy porn short-story Vanilla was writing to Chip, and their sex-chat on FB. Did I mention we also agreed that I never, ever use her computer again, even if I have to do something which takes 2 minutes and my computer is buried under paperwork? I don't want to be exposed to their hot crazy lurve, especially when I feel I lack some loving myself.
Me: bi female in my twenties