Originally Posted by Verabean
What I want to know is this - I thought I was poly, because I am able to love many people at the same time. But when I look at my situation, it seems like I am just having sex with some people I love every once in a while. I have some important loving relationships without sex as well, but they are not considered as threats to my boyfriend. Only sex is a threat. Why is sex a threat any more than an important loving relationship is? What is it about sex and lust specifically, that makes us feel jealous?
I hope someone will have the courage to read this - I do realize it's not very well organized. I have many questions and no one to really ask them to. I look forward to your input.
I think it's because, in our society, we've been conditioned to think that sex with only one partner is the thing that sets a romantic relationship apart as special. I love my mom, my husband, my children, my siblings, my best friend, etc. but I'm only supposed to be having sex with my husband. It's seen as the marker of what sets that relationship aside as "important" or "special". It's what makes it unique. Plenty of people I talk to have no issue with being emotional closer to their best friend, mom or sister than their spouse, but the whole fidelity thing is what sets the marriage or other romantic relationship up as unique and special and worthy of celebrating. Does that make any sense? it's early and I haven't had much coffee