So this is your secret, you're all so damn nice everyone falls in love with you. Foiled!
Thank you for the nice comments. It's not all sweetness and light here, but the balance has shifted considerably.
Yesterday was sheer bliss, last night I wake in an adrenalin surge, (very common during the dark times) convinced something is wrong, my brian races looking for trouble, unable to find any I start inventing some...
A lady turned up in the middle of the forest to a hut we worked from yesterday - hours off the beaten track - a casual new friend of my partners who's just moved to town. My brain is trying to tell me it's an arranged liason. But truth is it was a bored ecologist went tramping and decided to check up if we're at the hut as she knew we were in those mountains.
And now, I hope she is chasing M. She's really nice, very likeable, we get on great, and M hasn't had a lady lover in several years. No I don't want her too, though the baser side of me might entertain the thought a little
I'm happy today. Happy we are where we are, happy I managed to TEA my silly thoughts away with ease. Happy I am becoming open to the concept of other lovers for M.
Healing takes time, the trick is not to let up on the TEA or whatever you do when you feel in the clear (better). Stay on it, make sane thinking your imperative. Rejoice in the progress and declare war on self obsession and jealousy in all it's forms. Meanwhile be entirely selfish in the pursuit of your sanity.
BIG LOVE - to all.