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Old 04-21-2012, 04:24 PM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

Originally Posted by feelyunicorn View Post
Anyway, what was your first poly meeting like? What was going through your mind prior to it? What were your expectations and fears? How did you feel before, during, and after? What was your relationship status at the time? Do you still attend?

I would love to hear your experience. Thank you.
hey feelyunicorn,

My first meeting was just two months ago. I was very nervous. It was at a coffee shop that I used to frequent (just across the street from where I used to work) and that helped. My group was formatted as a discussion group with social time afterwards. I was totally surprised as there were about 50 people in the discussion, and more hanging out outside (one was with a baby).

I love the discussion format, because I could slip in and listen and check people out, and feel like I got to know them a little bit as they spoke. Eventually I spoke up too. I felt badly for being late, like I missed introductions, but I don't know if they did that or not. (I've been to my second meeting, and I still don't know)

They were having a big discussion about coming out to parents, and others. I think a lot of folks in the room found it helpful. Then, they broke up for socializing time. Which I also liked because it gave the opportunity for everyone to talk, and in smaller groups.

One of my partners also attended, but he got there later than I did. [I the hinge of a poly-fi vee with two men] Turns out guy with the baby was a guy my partner used to work with. (he's a computer geek at the fruity company ~ apparently several of his coworkers are poly) He doesn't care for discussion format, but he was quite happy to hang out in the other room and socialize.

I felt like one of the guys was hitting on me, but it was ever so polite and it didn't feel creepy to me at all. In fact, it cheered me up, made me feel welcome.

I wasn't able to attend the next month, but I went again last weekend. It was easier the second time, but I still had to push myself. There were less people, but still what I thought was a lot. I can't remember what the topic was supposed to be, but I enjoyed the discussion very much. The social time seemed very clique-ish at the last one. I did talk to someone that I had seen at the first meeting; she and I do very similar jobs. I gave her my card, but have not heard from her.

I'm not excessively shy ~ I have my moments. I really had to push myself to go there alone and get out of my car. I was trying not to have expectations. I've been to a lot of meetings of varying social types in my life. I looked at very much like when I was entering the gay community (so many years ago).

Actually, I had pretty low expectations. They were exceeded. Pretty normal folks. I was surprised by the age range, lots of younger folks and a few folks older than I/my age-ish.

I have just joined their fb group and apparently the really emotional discussions happen there, after meets. That was a bit of a surprise. Seems to me they're starting to consider themselves a large metropolitan group and they're just having a bit of growing pains for that.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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