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Old 04-21-2012, 06:33 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

awwwwwwww, breakups suck. they just really really do.

The best advice I ever got from anyone was to completely separate for 40 days and 40 nights. (actually, her advice was to this before any large change in relationship ~ like if you've been friends for years and decide to be lovers, take a 40 day break first) All the lovers with whom I have done this are still my friends. All the lovers with whom I have not, well, most are not my friends and one of them is my lover.

It's quite a challenge. The last time I did it was with First BoyFriend. He owed me money, I told him to send it through Current BoyFriend (at the time, he was OurFriend, and aways from becoming Current BF). OurFriend talked us both through the whole 40 days. One of us would call, and he'd be talking us down, and then the other would call him. He spent a lot of time thinking we'd get over it and get back together.

It prevents 'backsies.' It prevents over-emotive letters, emails, phone calls. It really prevents saying things that prevent you from becoming friends. Oooh, I had some hate in my heart for First BF back then. I schedule a day, 40 days in future, while I'm having the break up conversation, so we can get together and see if perhaps we want to continue being friends.

If you do have a similar hobby, perhaps you can agree to both avoid whatever mutual location for alternating weeks, or just both for a month. It won't disappear in 40 days, yes?

Just a recommendation, I know a lot of folks don't need it, can't see doing it. Just offering up what has worked well for me.

I'm so sorry. I'm sad for all loves who need to stop, for whatever. <3
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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