Thank you everyone your input is all regarded most warmly.
Another confused. Great post. I know she might not be my life partner, but the friendship will never end we have come so far, and are so in tune now. We argue, but these get resolved. I am very happy with things right now, there is no more subconscious pushing from her, no hiding her face, nail biting, eyes downcast moments I used to watch in horror. No more secrets. We light up when we see each other, we joke about all day like best mates, and the lovemaking is simply divine, or completely feral!
(too much info?)
This girl really cares for me. She won't abandon me, but yes, other men exist, but I wont abandon her either. Men who run away from someone they deeply love because it's not perfectly like the terms they would like to dictate, well, I get it, I also think they wimped out a bit and let down people they love. I still get it, I just, you know, this is a breakthrough, everyone should have the odd breakthrough, it's so enlightening.
It's early days yet, no gaurantees. Why plan your whole life just to be dissapointed eh. But for now, for this year it's on, and we can look at next year as it approaches.
Who knows, I might be a poly guy? Never thought about it before now. But today I'm extremely happy with what I already have, and that'll be just fine for now.