View Single Post
Old 04-21-2012, 02:33 AM
lovefromgirl's Avatar
lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Great Soggy Northeast
Posts: 353

Originally Posted by LemonCakeIsALie33 View Post
I write, too! The crush on R led to a quite intriguing Star Trek fanfiction that I haven't fully finished editing (mostly, the ending seems off to me, and I don't publish things that are out-of-character). Fanfiction helps because pouring my emotions into a character who differs from me forces me to see a different perspective - it's not self-insertion; it's just exploration.
Which Trek and do you want a beta reader? -- Uh. I mean. *cough*

I did a whole semester on narrative therapy; one way we can come to terms with the pieces of our stories that hurt us is to explore them. It's actually a really cool concept. I think it's a lot more natural to us-as-humans than we know. If you process best by exploring the same dynamic using different (possibly pre-established) characters, as far as I'm concerned, it's healthy.

Thank you for the advice - I think this comes from a place of understanding, and it's very applicable to my situation. I really appreciate it. I've tried to express interest as soon as I feel it now, instead of waiting until I'd burst if I didn't say anything.
Good. There's no shame in being interested. The only answer you have if you don't ask is "no"; if you ask, there's a sliver of a chance of a "yes". (Thank you to a very wise woman...) What you don't want to do is get to a place of desperation. Desperation makes people do extraordinary things.

Do you think how I'm handling things is harming myself unnecessarily? Sometimes I wish I were straight. If I only had the capacity to love men, I would be safe befriending girls. But right now, after what's happened... anytime I like being around someone, I feel sore and afraid I will get hurt.
You've been hurt. Of course you're a little leery right now. Don't get too down on yourself. People of all orientations run into the "I want to love X but X is not available" thing. Most of my unrequited disasters were cis men and I am a cis woman. (The exception? A straight girl...) I certainly don't think you need to blame yourself for your orientation. It would be nice if we all had heads-up displays with people's details on, wouldn't it? "Straight cis female" and the like. "Chances of compatibility 2%." We don't have HUDs, so we take our best guess.
"I swear, if we live through this somebody's going to find their automatic shower preferences reprogrammed for ice water."

Refuge in Audacity { home of the post-raph stunner }
Reply With Quote