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Old 04-21-2012, 01:53 AM
LemonCakeIsALie33 LemonCakeIsALie33 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 73

Originally Posted by lovefromgirl View Post
Your case with your current love interest is different in that she has said "maybe", not "no".
That's what I thought, too. I'm glad to hear I'm not delusional.

Originally Posted by lovefromgirl View Post
These days, if I have lingering feelings for someone who is that wrong for me, I process it through lots of talking and lots of writing. I may be able to get a whole book out of a dynamic I experienced when I was younger and very much desperate to be loved. Heavily fictionalised! If you go the fiction route, dear God change the details.
I write, too! The crush on R led to a quite intriguing Star Trek fanfiction that I haven't fully finished editing (mostly, the ending seems off to me, and I don't publish things that are out-of-character). Fanfiction helps because pouring my emotions into a character who differs from me forces me to see a different perspective - it's not self-insertion; it's just exploration.

Originally Posted by lovefromgirl View Post
There's nothing wrong with expressing interest. Heartache happens when you do that after you've invested major emotion in the outcome. Me, I got hurt enough times that I made myself change for my own sake. If it is still worth your while to go on as you have, nothing anyone can say will change you. You have to figure out what you can handle and go forward accordingly.
Thank you for the advice - I think this comes from a place of understanding, and it's very applicable to my situation. I really appreciate it. I've tried to express interest as soon as I feel it now, instead of waiting until I'd burst if I didn't say anything.

Do you think how I'm handling things is harming myself unnecessarily? Sometimes I wish I were straight. If I only had the capacity to love men, I would be safe befriending girls. But right now, after what's happened... anytime I like being around someone, I feel sore and afraid I will get hurt.
Me: 22-year-old female, cis and queer, have identified as poly for ~2 years, currently in my first committed poly relationship

A: Poly boyfriend since 9/17/13, currently sexually open and not seeing other romantic partners but open to such in the future

Last edited by LemonCakeIsALie33; 04-21-2012 at 01:56 AM.
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