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Old 04-20-2012, 08:37 PM
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lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Great Soggy Northeast
Posts: 353

Originally Posted by HotPepper View Post
Did you start out your life not realising you were Poly? Or not admitting to yourself and your mono partners that you were poly (ie., maybe because you felt too guilty about being poly and could not bring yourself to tell them)?
Yes and no. Yes, because until I found the internet, I had no words for loving more than one person, and struggled with whether the words applied to me thereafter. By the time I was twenty-one or so, I did get it worked out. Too late for the summer I tried to have my cake and eat it too; too late for the well-meaning boy who objected to the cuddle-and-tickle I had with another nice boy. Not too late to be finding myself still, though. Not too late to be growing into myself.

Have you been in long-term mono relationships, and let them go because they were not fulfilling your needs to love and be loved by more then one person?
Actually, I'm notorious for deciding not to make those relationships long-term. Something's not right? Well, I won't let him get his hopes up!

At that time, I had never heard of polyamory and thought there was something wrong with me.
The only difference between us is that I was in my mid-teens when I heard about polyamory. There but for the grace of a 28.8 modem go I.

I can not cure myself of polyamory. And quite frankly, after studying for some time now, I can tell you I no longer feel polyamory to be an disease and no longer feel guilty. That's been a big step for me, and as a lurker on this forum for some time, I know I will find like-minds here who can relate to my story.
Don't forget to talk things over with the partner you do have. You never know when a monogamous relationship can successfully transition into mono/poly. You owe it to your partner to let hir make some decisions, too.
"I swear, if we live through this somebody's going to find their automatic shower preferences reprogrammed for ice water."

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