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Old 04-20-2012, 03:28 PM
poobah123 poobah123 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 48
Default Poly and imbalance/urges..very confused..help

So it's been a while since I have posted here. If you search my previous messages I was struggling with jealousy issues. I feel like I have really overcome them fully now but have other concerns

My wife and I entered into this with another couple due to my emotional affair with her friend. So from the start our relationship was not good entering this. Now I am totally confused and dealing with the following issues:
  • 1) My marriage has nothing. Emotionally nothing. Physically nothing. We are simply good friends who love each other. Nothing else. Which makes me feel like I have a roommate with 3 kids whom I fully support!
  • 2) My OSO is great. Love her. However the attraction is not very strong. Sex is enjoyable but I don't find myself jumping at the chance to have sex. I suppose you could say "she is not my type". Yes this is shallow but shouldn't I need to feel sexual desire?
  • 3) I married young and never had the single life. I have met many women recently and I am really struggling with a desire to meet other women. Both from a sexual aspect but also from the point that meeting and learning about someone new is fun!

To point #1. My wife is gorgeous. My type. However we have major issues with communication. It's not that we don't but we speak different languages. I don't understand her. For example she is unemotional, non-affectionate, limited sexually. Not recently but her whole life. Sex is just so incompatible. She only orgasms via being on top or using the Magic Wand. I go limp with her on top (who knows). She is just simply not sensitive down there at all. Oral has literally no effect. My OSO is very sensitive and can orgasm like crazy. Loves oral and all the little things I do. We have 4 hour marathon sessions. My wife is like 10m of foreplay then she wants to get off and be done.

To Point #3: I am really having issues with this. Since I am not so strongly attracted to my OSO it makes it harder. I just am SERIOUSLY struggling with my desire to be with other women. I feel like this urge is almost uncontrollable. I have refrained from doing anything though. Also my OSO is entirely open to bringing another women into bed with us as she likes that but her husband doesn't.

So I suppose I am just looking for some viewpoints. Any advice?
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