Originally Posted by lovefromgirl
Easy. No contact. Cut them loose; she's toxic and he's willing to stay with toxic, so his judgment can't be that great. You and your bf work on your relationship, and if someone healthier comes along for either of you, great!
I imagined that would be the response. You're probably right. We've referred to her as something like toxic to most of his past relationships and this present one as well. Her presence in his life has been part of the cause of more than one break up. I suppose she assumed I'd be another one. She actually told him, "it's alright if you two break up. You can have me," essentially throwing herself at him. From what he said she was a bit more explicit about it.
I know he probably still has love for her. With these latest texts when I told him I planned on saying something he at first didn't think it was a good idea. She probably really did just want to see how I/we were, he said. I'm sure it was innocent. But I disagreed. Asking someone how they are and asking them that while also telling them how much you miss/love them are two different stories, at least it is in the context of what has gone on between all of us. If she was just curious as to how he was doing that's all she would ask, but the way she did it reeks to me of stirring up old and new problems between he and I. But, Tesla, he said, she's poly so that she can avoid all this drama in relationships! Unfortunately, her actions in no way correlate to that desire (imo).