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Old 04-20-2012, 11:25 AM
zylya zylya is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Sussex, UK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LemonCakeIsALie33 View Post
That is, if I am close with someone who is in a monogamous or monogamous-by-default relationship, someone who does not identify as poly (but may not be mono) should I distance myself romantically? Should I avoid allowing a crush to develop?

Someone I know (albeit someone I find often has the air of wisdom without actually being wise) said to me tonight, "Stay away from people in relationships." It really got under my skin. Am I bringing this pain on myself? Should I avoid being friends with people if I start feeling I might crush on them?

Recently, it seems to me that much of my romantic pain has been caused in relation to people in monogamous relationships. I've been bemoaning society and how it leads us to believe all sorts of things about relationships that aren't true, such as that mono is the only way and poly means you don't really love someone.

But the world is this way. So given that it is... should I just work with it? Should I close myself off, distance myself in some ways? Or does this just provide the illusion of protection?
If it's been causing you pain recently, it's time to try something else, namely avoiding getting too close to people in relationships. Be friends, sure, but don't put yourself into situations where you might start crushing on them.
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