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Old 04-20-2012, 08:29 AM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 669

I've been carrying on thinking about this. And I suppose that for me, it's the fact that polyamoury is unusual (and often disapproved of) in much of society that makes me wonder if it might be useful to see it as more inclusive??

I'm still kind of thinking this through so it might not be terribly coherent.

It seems to me that lots of people who do identify as poly have to work through issues with envy, insecurity etc. Not surprisingly really - given the way most of us are brought up to look at romantic love. You know - as something special, where you find your one true love and forsake all others for them. Most of us grow up and when grown up continue to live in a society where we are drip fed these ideas on a daily basis from the media, from fiction, from our friends and families.

So - no wonder people wanting to live differently find it hard. I just sometimes wonder if changing how we talk about and think about love might help? Maybe not.

If romantic love can be seen as to do with emotional intimacy, caring, a desire to connect with the other person, then I find it hard to understand why that doesn't include close platonic friendships.

It seems to me that it's fairly easy to accept that any one of us might have more than one emotionally intimate, caring, committed relationship with somebody we'd describe as a friend. The difference is that we don't call that romance.

But why not? Maybe the not doing so isn't so helpful? Maybe if we were more used to talking about those relationships as romantic, it wouldn't seem so threatening to have more than one romantic and sexual relationship?

And people might start to see more love in the world. More ways of expressing it and of living it (other than the whole, meet, date for a while, get married, move in together type thing that seems to be the norm).

I suppose that for me, the term polyamoury is a bit useful - as a short way of maybe starting a discussion about relationships.

But other than that, I reckon that describing yourself as poly is a bit like describing yourself as a human being.

But discussion is required because our perceptions of what it means to be human are so affected by the society we live in.

Interesting stuff to think through.

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