Bent and Blu's 1st get together
Well I was a right mess last night. I did try to get my mind off things. I went to the gym and worked out, got online and talked with some friends who have had poly relationships. I tried to keep my head out of the bedroom. I felt pretty alone after the gym and walked around the city streets for a bit, I hadn't felt that alone in a long time. I did start to imagine worst case scenarios and being abandoned and even though I had stated my boundaries, that I would prefer to be there for their first time-I thought that the heat of the moment would carry them away. And I kept waiting for a phone call and then thought that I might have to wait until morning.
SO when I did get home, about 4 hours after the start of their date, I was just really anxiety ridden and head full of worst case scenarios. Then I went online to check my messages and saw that she had sent a message! It said that she was back at home working, and for all the sorrow I felt 30 seconds earlier-all of a sudden I felt intense relief and joy and I cried. Super intense emotions-when I am usually pretty aloof about most things. I was really happy because it had gone well, and she wasn't spending the night with him -and although we haven't discussed in detail how it went (Blu's super busy finishing up her college program this week-so the NRE is not helping her one bit in that way) it doesnt sound like they played at all except for kissing(they stayed in public place).
But there was a negative thing to all this. We found out that Bent has a girlfriend and that he hasn't told her anything. So Blu decided to stop it there, even though she is attracted to him, neither of us like the idea of playing wth a guy who can't communicate his desires to his intimate partner. So I don't know what Blu and I are going to do now. The door has been opened, and there are a lot of things we have to discuss. She thought we were moving to fast anyways and she was probably right. We'll work through some things that have come up in our relationship through this and probably find someone who is ready for this kind of relationship further down the road. Stay tuned!