Cold and forced and that gap has widen over the years....haven't kissed in years.....Are you both doing this for the children? Why would you want to settle for a sexless marriage. Why would she want to settle for someone she has absolutely no attraction for. Clearly its not spilling over. Do you want or could you be sustained with some type of pity/duty sex if that were offered?
Are you trying to date other women? Would you be happy if your sexual needs were being met elsewhere.
Too many time polyamory becomes the half baked solution to an unhappy marriage. If the countless hr of counseling haven' t shed any light on this topic I would waste anymore time or money now.