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Old 04-19-2012, 04:52 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,441

I actually thought of you, AC, while I was out tonight. It occurred to me that what you perceive as him putting you on a pedestal is simply appreciation for who you are and what you give him. You may not be used to his openness and frankness in being able to express his feelings about you. And so you think he gets carried away.

The other thing is, what you said reminded me of some feedback I've often gotten over the years. Men have always told me, "You're not like anyone I've ever known," "You're so different," etc. Before I was married, they often wondered why no one had "snatched me up," and told me I was so much more of this, that, and every other thing than anyone else they'd ever been in relationship with.

Now, I don't think I'm all that. Sure, I'm cool, but the thing I think that throws 'em is that I've always strived to be as honest and straightforward as I could, to the best of my ability at any given time (I wasn't so great at it in my 20s, but I tried). I never was a game player.

And I think that there are so many women out there who were taught to play games, strategize, and manipulate, that guys don't know what to do with those of us who won't. And we don't quite get why we're so different because this is the only way we can be ourselves.

So, you may not be on a pedestal, but you are like a breath of fresh air. And he appreciates that, so don't worry. It simply sounds like his eyes are open, he revels in who you are, and probably says these things more than you are used to. Relax, and soak it up.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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