Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe
...it's such a superficial sexual encounter that I didn't care
Since I was the one who entered the phrase "superficial sexual encounter" into the conversation which then generated some more discussion, perhaps I should expand on the situation as it actually happened.
I was 18 years old, I went to a party, I hooked up with a slightly older guy, we went our separate ways. I was single (with the exception of a number of NSA FWB) and had no agreements with anyone (other than myself) regarding my
sexual behavior. A few weeks later, this conversation happens:
Friend: "Hey, JaneQ didn't you hook up with Sam the other week?"
Friend: "Yeah, Fred's roommate, he brought him to that party at John's house. Short guy, blond, you two were drinking gin straight from the bottle?"
Me: "Ah yes, I remember that guy. His name was Sam?"
Friend: "Yes, and apparently his fiance is really pissed at him."
Friend: "You didn't know he was engaged?"
Me: "WTF...I didn't even know his name
. His fiance should really reconsider the whole marriage idea - seems like a real dick."
At that particular point in my life (20 years ago!) it would never have occurred to me to ask if some random pickup was seeing/dating/sleeping with/engaged to someone else. My motives at the time could be summed up by - "You're Hot, I'm Horny, Here's a condom - don't call me." I definitely was of the opinion that it was the responsibility of the person who was in the relationship to enforce its rules and boundaries - I was merely a disinterested bystander looking to get laid. (By the way, MrS and I have had several heated discussions about this over the years - he completely disagrees.)
Now, if it had been someone that I was interested in getting to know, or a friend that I cared about, or, hell, someone that I ever expected to have contact with again, then I would have cared about how this sexual encounter would affect them and their lives and relationships. But an almost-anonymous one-night stand, nope - I probably would have assumed they were lying anyway...