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Old 04-19-2012, 02:01 AM
AnotherConfused AnotherConfused is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 264

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Trust that he knows what is best for him. Trust that he is taking responsibility for his own choice to be with you, accept the terms of your arrangement, and love you wholeheartedly.
Most of the time I manage this. I think, "He's really crazy for being willing to get involved with me in this limited, restrained way," but I know he is making his own decisions based on full disclosure of what he can and can't expect from this. Sometimes though I hear this nagging voice in the back of my head that says he doesn't believe he truly deserves the relationship he really wants. He says I'm helping him build the skills to have a successful partnership someday, and I hope he's right.

Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
If his ideas about your awesomeness are connected to a corresponding lack of his own worth, well that's not going away when the happy chemical brainbath and newness erode.
Oh I see. There might be an element of this, but maybe not. I don't hear him say things often about me being better than he is, although he has said he finds it amazing that I would choose to be with him when I could (he believes!) be with anyone I want.

Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
(50 year old geek with G spot skills? Why yes, please!)
Right? He's got some serious talent! And brains, and he made his fortune early so he's retired and spends all his time involved in fascinating hobbies and travel, he's a fit outdoorsman, a gentleman, and great at communication... seems like quite a catch to me, but inside he still believes he's the socially awkward nerd from his teenage years, so he says when he meets a woman who interests him he gets shy and clams up (except with me, apparently the only woman he ever simultaneously adored and felt at ease with).

Ok, I'll just sit tight and bask in the attention, and when we get past this stage I'll enjoy the steadiness of ORE.
Married to a monogamous man 15 yrs, mother of 2, dating C 3 yrs, and in a romantic friendship with L more than 20 yrs
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