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Old 04-18-2012, 11:31 PM
km34 km34 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 624

Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
Does anyone have that problem with friends?
I'm a very touchy-feely person, and I want to touch my friends (hold hands when we walk, share "real hugs" -where the body touch for the whole length, not just the shoulders and then ass out - kiss them on the cheek, squeeze their shoulder, these kinds of things) but everyone seems so distant in comparison, the most I guess is the ass-out hug, and only very rarely and from a few people.

I asked a friend and he said if I acted like that with a friend they would assume I wanted to have sex with them I don't think it's a cultural difference because hugs aren't even a big thing in France (although I guess kissing on the cheek is). And I can be pretty adverse to touch from strangers, people I don't like or don't know, etc.
But I do feel a lack of something when I don't share much touch with my friends.
I have had a few friends over the years that are touchy feely. Some of them were people that I KNEW wanted to have sex with me, others were gay men so I knew they didn't want to have sex with me, and some where just touchy feely people. I personally am not comfortable with many people in my personal space. I don't like holding hands. Even with my SOs, I don't often like holding hands. With these friends, I just compromised - I don't like holding hands but we walked with our arms linked, I'm not big on hugging but we hugged goodbye or hello if it'd been a long time since we'd seen each other.

I'm one of those people you'd feel disconnected from if we were friends, I bet.

Do/would you (you Tonberry and you everyone) talk to your friends about your love language if you started feeling disconnected? I love my friends, so my love language definitely shines through in those relationships, but some people don't use the word "love" unless it is romantic - What would you do?
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