So to give an update ... After a few days I sent him an email basically saying I accepted it was over. I thanked him for the happiness he gave me in the time we had and I wished him love ...
Then he came back. Since then I also started a blog to try and help me process all this ... http://poly-a.tumblr.com/
Over the last few days he has tried to say he was okay sharing now, he wa claiming me as owner, and I told him simply I no longer trust him enough for that to happen. We talked for hours last night and I asked he give me time to build trust with him again, he finally said, "fuck off. I am done with you"
So done again just as quickly as he returned. I'm torn because I was in love, I'm confused and I believe it was because I was manipulated, and I'm hurt and scared that this will make me hide from my desire to love more ... I know pain is the yang to love, so by accepting the love I accept the pain... It just seems a little harder every time.