Originally Posted by insanity
obvously I am the one to decide about my own feelings.. but I get confused sometimes even when knowing the answer..
There have been some steps I needed to take to come to a place were no confusion would blurry my vision. First of all, realizing for myself that this is possible. The only thing that helped me with that was time. The years of experiencing love in more than the exclusive way were that impossible to ignore that my mind just surrendered. Therefore I came to accept the simple fact that loving more than one is possible.
The second step was even harder: EXPLAINING to others how that works. That was really hard. How to explain to others what you yourself just barely grasped? There have been many talks about my inner workings, at home with my men, with friends, as well as on this forum. Therefore I would say, that 'knowing' an answer emotionally and 'knowing' an answer literally are two different things and sometimes don't come naturally with each other.
Don't push things, just experience what you feel and the answer will come later. That's what my solution looked like
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.