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Old 04-18-2012, 12:42 AM
Precious1 Precious1 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NovemberRain View Post
So, I'm wondering about anyone else's experiences with mis-matching desires for touch? Do you think relationships can go long when it's mismatched?
I am, and always have been a kinesthetic hoar.
{Kinesthetic learning is a learning style in which learning takes place by the student actually carrying out a physical activity, rather than listening to a lecture or merely watching a demonstration. It is also referred to as tactile learning. People with a kinesthetic learning style are also commonly known as do-ers.}

I love to touch!
A major mis-match in my 25 year relationship with the man I married, is that he is touch-averse. (Not fully disclosed/discovered until after we were married.) My desire to touch the hubby and being rejected for my main way of expression did affected my self-esteem, but not nearly as much as the emotional abuse, Yet, I believe if it were not for the multitude of other issues for our relationship, this would have not been a deal-breaker in itself.

My friends are touchers, my son even still hugs me at 20yo, and I found a career in massage therapy where I can provide safe, non-sexual touch to my heart's content.

My current partner loves to be touched. I call him a "nerve stroke junkie." We find ourselves holding hands without thinking about it. He asks me to "pet" him. I can fall asleep stroking his back. I am in pure heaven.
I have to laugh, because he often comments he feels guilty that he does not touch me as much or as skillfully; but my touch and expression being loved, accepted and even sought out is absolute bliss to me. I think I'll keep him!
(Just need more time together in person to touch him, dammit!!!!)

I guess, for me anyway, to touch means more than being touched back, though I really do like that too.

Precious
currently Mono to my poly Sunshine
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