You make very fair points nycindie, my pain definitely clouded my thinking. All i could see was a predatory woman with no respect for me
The notification by email point has been discussed and cleared up now. Master does accept that a different approach could have been taken and has apologised.
CielDuMatin, i was nodding my head when reading your 'done together with the agreement and active willingness of all' bit. This is something i think is so important and should be heeded at all times.
Incidentally, i have spoken of this site to Master and how to find this post so He can read it if He so wishes.
Thank you to all who have commented so far, your replies are very much helping to clarify my thinking and making me look at things from different angles.
To those who have read but not commented....i really would value your thoughts too x