Following should have been posted in March, like 6 weeks ago:
So itís been a whirlwind few weeks, and Iíve discovered that the best way to make a cup empty is to fill it with pineapple juice and Rum! Any cup so filled roundly becomes empty.
No, this is not advocating that alcohol is a solution. (Though it still maintains itís status as a social lubricant to some extent. And you all know how much I like...wait for it... LUBE!!!)
Anyways, Iíve been away from home for a few weeks, and spent most of it not really concentrating on anything of importance to do with Poly for the most part. I did get to meet a bunch of the lovely poly folk in Winnipeg who were fun, accommodating and friendly, slightly beyond my expectations. It was really nice being able to discuss things poly and not with people who werenít already familiar with me, or the details; to get a fresh perspective on things whether they agreed with previous assessments or not. And it was awesome to again see what familiar elements favour or plague other communities, and how they deal with it. It becomes both comfort of not being alone in the trials and tribulations of life, as well as a source of solutions, either reliable or novel.
My only regret there being that the meeting was near the end of the week, so there wasnít time to follow up on anything afterwards. This however is not uncommon with amount of time I usually have for visiting other communities.
The experience was mostly repeated in Calgary, although I keep giving Freetime the gears for not making an appearance. (Valid reasons and all, but that doesnít need to stop me from ribbing him about it) Iíve been keeping a close eye on this group, having known some of the people involved in previous (now defunct) attempts at forming poly groups in that town. It was really cool finally being able to connect on a more personal level than the usual electronic correspondence allows.
And I really canít deny that it was good to be back with my people. Not just the polyís, but people from my home town, and also my friends whom have been my support since childhood. Thereís a lot of time these days that I feel quite muzzled, and itís a gratifying freedom on occasion to know the people across the table will actually understand what Iím saying without an undue amount of explanation, or the risk of being lynched. Each year that passes, things like this make me realize the reason my wife never wants to go back.
Although that too is passing as the city and the culture continue to develop and morph away from what I remember. Not necessarily for the worse, but different. But my friends are more constant...and a cherished resource to be able to draw on. I think they remain the only group of people who truly understand who I am...a very select group indeed with whom I can me myself without reservation, disguise, or pretence. (And now anyone who knows my on the coast is going to wonder what kind of hidden subversive monster I am...which isnít really the case. Itís more about me being comfortable enough to really relax in company, rather than anything Iíd be consciously trying to hide) My regrets there are that I might not have done as right by them as Iíd like. But thatís another story.
The last week of my trip I went down to San Diego, but unfortunately there were no community events that week, and plan B & C didnít really work out either as I didnít previously know anyone from there. So I was mostly left to my own devices. Fortunately I love San Diego and know my way around enough to keep myself entertained. It turned out to be a good opportunity to finally have some thoughts to myself. Breakfast burritoís & mimosas in old town in the morning, touring around during the day, walking around in summer gear in +15C weather and giggling at the locals with their parkas, sweaters and mittens. Basking in the pool & hottub at the hotel with a drink and surrounded by palm trees. Yeah, it didnít suck. And it allowed me time to just let go...I mean really, rum, pineapple juice, warm water, palm trees, sunshineÖseriously how could anyone ruin that by trying to hold on to negative thoughts or emotions? The effort was just so not worth it.
I doubt that Iím terribly different now that Iím at home, but I feel better about a lot of things.