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Old 04-17-2012, 04:09 AM
km34 km34 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 624

Keith and I have been talking about this lately... He has been VERY touchy feely lately and it has been driving me CRAZY. I knew it would be his primary love language, so I made him take the assessment the other day and lo and behold... It was far above the others.

I have control issues. To the extent I should probably examine why they're there, but that's another issue... I can't stand to not have the freedom to move about as I wish - which isn't possible when you're lying next to someone who wants to have both arms around you as well as legs intertwined and heads leaning together. Since taking the assessment and becoming aware of why touch is important to him and realizing that it's not the same for me AT ALL, we've been able to balance pretty well.

Luckily, my main love language is quality time, so the two work together pretty well when you're aware of what's going on. I get to have his focus on me while we do things together, and I just have to make sure we're holding hands, he has his arm around me, I'm holding on to his arm as we walk, or something like that and we are both fulfilled.

@November - I personally don't really like people touching me around the face, I can stand to have someone play with my hair when I'm in the mood, but other than that.. I would rather pretty much to be left alone (kind of sounds like your partner). I have however found that when we are just sitting around reading, watching tv, or something like that, I can have my legs on him without it bothering me at all (he sits on one side of the couch, I sit on the other and spread out so my legs/feet are propped on his lap). He gets his sense of touch, I get my sense of space. Maybe something like that could work for you two?
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