Originally Posted by CranberryStardust
I guess I am used to guys who love the idea of their girl with another woman. My boyfriend seems at best disinterested. He says he doesn't like the idea of sharing me, which makes sense. I think he equates my desire to be with a woman with a desire to be unfaithful, but I have no intentions or want to be with another guy. Ideally, he would be involved. The idea of him helping me and participating in that scenario is incredibly hot to me. I don't want to leave him out or find something elsewhere. I just really feel like I want to act on my lesbian urges.
He is a very monogamous person. Is there any hope? How do I start a conversation? How can I make him see that it can be fun and sexy and non-threatening?
All of this seems very sexual. Are you wanting a purely sexual/FWB situation with a woman or a romantic relationship?
Regardless, if he doesn't like the idea of sharing you AT ALL, it seems unlikely that he will approve of either situation. Also, your statement that your desire for a woman appears to him as a desire to be unfaithful because you have no desire for another man doesn't make sense to me. Sex/gender has no bearing on whether it's ethical. I've also never understood the thought of someone of the opposite sex not being a threat because they're different since EVERYONE is different, but that's a different discussion altogether. lol
Anyway, if he honestly feels like nonmonogamy of any flavor (swinging, poly, or anything else) isn't for him, you can't force him or the relationship to go that direction. He has a right to want monogamy just as much as you have a right to want nonmonogamy. You just have to decide if you can balance the two desires or decide the relationship isn't right and find a new one.