When the emotions and hormones are a-whirlin' then it can be very difficult to think straight and work out what you need to do.
Luckily we on this forum have the benefit of not being in love and lust with him and can take a step back and give you a range of perspectives for you to take on-board as you wish. I hope in some way it has helped you sort things out.
For what it's worth, it DOES sound like you are doing the right things to try to get things back on track and to find out if he really is as trustworthy as he says he is, and you are looking for ways to verify that. This will stand the best chance of saving folks pain and anguish.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb