Originally Posted by Messenger
I cannot even deny that the NRE can be blinding. I find him simply irresistible. I'm going to start referring to him as "Boston Creme" LOL! Since both are so tempting and impossible to resist!
It seems NRE is blinding you also. This man is hurting someone dear to him. You haven't mentioned a DADT policy. Does he have one? Do you know anything about the situation with his wife?
Its great you are reading up, but what you have is not poly. Its cheating as far as I can see and that is directly opposite to poly. There is no integrity, no honest and open communication, no consideration for her feelings at all or for her being aware of what is going on. You are going to be in a shit storm. Really... I am flabergasted that you are more concerned about what name to give this guy on here than for her well being. It makes me question if you are able to be poly because you seem to be missing some major points.
Have a look at some of the threads tagged "cheating" and read stories from people who have been in his wife's position. Please, read. It might be what you need for a reality slap up side the face.