Thanks, all. Basically this is reminding me that I already had the "right answer" - improved communication between dates - and pushing for more "solo" dates.
We do generally get "some" alone time, but due to finances and logistics, most of our "dates" are at his home - which means there is a preschooler running around, and his wife is home too. In these cases, I'm going to work on getting better at suggesting we perhaps go to the next room for some quiet alone time.
It used to work out that once a week we'd get together in more of a group setting, and once a week we got together one on one, but changing work schedules have made the one on one days harder to come by. Ah well, few things worth doing are without speedbumps, right?
"This, too, is sacred."
I am my own primary.
Me: F, 30's, bi.
Sadist: my fwb. M, 30's.
Pandora: Sadist's gf. F, 30's.