There is vast amounts of writing on here about poly/mono dynamics. Its probably our biggest tag. I suggest going to the search engine and looking in the tags for "mono/poly" and do some reading. My bf, Mono has done extensive writing on the topic as we went through our earlier years and there are some great threads by Sage who is also mono and did a lot of writing here and on her website. You are not alone, and while its a hard road to travel, its not impossible to achieve. Good luck!