Why is she resistant to divorce? She told you the relationship was over... and doesn't want to live with you or anyone, etc , etc... so whats the motivation to stay legally hooked??? Money ...or So you cant remarry? In my case my wife want to "dedicate " the rest of her life to make it up to me and the kids and start over. Not going to happen but that's her motivation for not wanting a divorce.
Does the BF kick in any money towards the child or expenses?
So you were good enough to cart her around to all the appointments but not needed at the birth....nice. Did you ever confront her with that?
Did you see the Birth certificate? Or is this what you were told? The child's last name was blank or her maiden Name.?