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Old 04-14-2012, 04:51 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Every relationship has its ups and downs, and life is unpredictable. I love easily and I think that what I most appreciate about polyamory, and benefit from, is the ability to create loving relationships on my own terms. I don't have to squeeze my relationships to fit into narrow parameters in order to match what society expects from me.

I never played that game well. I was a high school dropout at 17, lived on my own since I was 19, did whatever I wanted with my life and never cared what family thought, was single (and anti-marriage) until I met my ex, got married at 39, always childfree by choice, always rebellious. Still, I was basically booted from my role of Wife, because I didn't fit my husband's expectations. Since embracing polyamory I now get to say, "No more roles for me." I am creating the life I want.

Of course, one can be deliriously happy in a monogamous partnership -- I know that even I can -- but it's all the expectation placed on that sort of partnership that can be hard to overcome. So, for now and into the foreseeable future, practicing polyamory satisfies this need I have to be free to choose and create what I want my life to be, and to love without reservation, in an ethical, honest way. It makes me happy that I can do this, and just feels right for me.
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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