Thanks Quath & Mark --
I think that's part of the issue, is that she wanted to speak to her friends about it and let them know what was going on before we were out at school, and S and I didn't respect that, because well... it's not that I don't want to respect my wife's wishes, but I've never cared what anyone thought of me or my sexuality, and i'm open about it almost to a fault. Anyone can ask me anything and get an honest answer; I don't believe in hiding things because things were hidden from me as a kid, and my parent's attitude about sex was always really really like, closed and secretive and stuff. and any time anything was brought up, they'd freak. So i try my darndest to be the opposite of that. Occasionally it bites me in the butt, but usually it's a pretty good policy.
And S feels the same way. We both were instantly comfortable with this situation, while L needs a lot more time to get used to things. I underestimated the amount of time she'd really need, thinking it would be something that would be okay in a matter of weeks, but now we're three months in and in some ways we've gone backwards.... I know that's my fault for rushing at the beginning, so I've decided the best thing is to just go back to the beginning and be nothing but honest, open, and patient. Patience isn't easy for me, but I'm learning.
It's kindof weird being in this position -- I'm not used to being the one who has to wait things out because I pretty much always get what i want.
This is completely worth it though.