Originally Posted by NovemberRain
Two words: Al-anon.
You were quite right to not participate and leave her to the conclusion on her own. I'm sorry you didn't realize that two years sober wasn't nearly enough; and more sorry you didn't realize most alcoholics cannot drink socially.
If she can't keep an agreement about what time to come home; what makes you think she can keep any agreements or boundaries you make about sex with other men?
My heart aches for both of you.
I've been to AA (and NA and MA) meetings and she's not an alcoholic in that sense...I've studied addiction too and she's not an addict to alcohol. She may have been a habitual drinker but not an addict (in terms that an addict feels they cannot live without their addiction or that they cannot survive through the withdrawal of their addiction. I know some 12 steppers and ex-addicts/recovered addicts/life-long recovering addicts will say otherwise. But, the feeling she deserves and occasional (every several weeks or so) is more of an expression of her wanting to be free to be able to do whatever she wants to do. I'd say her phone is much more nearly and addiction than alcohol.