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Old 04-13-2012, 04:57 AM
Aurelie26 Aurelie26 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: London
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
I commend you for your recent honesty and efforts. It must be a huge weight off....having things out in the open and the ability to discuss more openly topic generally skirted in the pass. I bet that feels much better for both of you. .
Thank you, yes it does feel like we made progress at the weekend, and thatís good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
The only problem I see is that the Bf is still in a lose lose position. If he can't cope ...if he has to tap out he's going look weak and feel weak. Being responsible for forcing you to give up something /someone you love and need. A lifestyle that he was ok with and agree to when he signed on. The guilt, shame, the failure from that... and the fear of resentment let alone any actual resent you may feel if he taps out. Gets what he wants yet feels like a loss. Might get sole custody of a vagina but lost the heart and mind that accompanied it.
I realise that I have painted a picture of my bf being kind and gentle and sensitive, and this is all true. However, just because he is a laid back nice guy, that does not mean that he is in any way weak, he is not, and I donít think that he could ever think of himself that way either. He will not force me to do anything, I am not weak either. It is possible that I will realise that this is causing too much hurt for him (That is not how it is at the moment) and I will WANT to give my lover up for my bfís happiness. I will never resent my boyfriend, I could only resent him if I thought he was being selfish and inconsiderate, he is neither. If the day comes that he asks me to be his, and his alone, I will know itís because our relationship needs it. He is jealous at the moment, not all the time though, he has told me that most of the time he is fine with it, itís only when he thinks of my lover and I having sex that he can get a bit uncomfortable. Things were fine today, we were affectionate towards each other before I went to see my lover and he was very affectionate when I got back, more affectionate than usual even. Why? Itís because what I told him about him not waiting up for me when I see my lover. Even though he said that I was being silly and over dramatic, he knew that I was upset about it, so he made sure that he made me feel better, and he did. He does this because he loves me the same way I love him.
He might get sole custody of my vagina, but he will never lose my heart, mind, or soul. I stress again, our relationship is not in question here. I cannot imagine my life without him, he feels the same and we will now communicate more, to make sure we know how we are doing at all times. We will never allow things to get to the point where our relationship would be at risk. The only thing at risk is my relationship with my lover, I donít want to give him up, his emotions and feelings count as well, he is not just a big dick for me to play with, and throw away, as if what we have shared over the last two and a half years means nothing. It does, it means a lot! Iím not going to pretend I care about him in the same way as my bf, I donít, but there is love there, and itís not easy to throw that away.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Would you like to be married someday....to him or anyone?.
My Mother has been married and divorced three times, so that has kind of put me off. Never say never though, and if I do, it will be to my lovely bf
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