Two words: Al-anon.
You were quite right to not participate and leave her to the conclusion on her own. I'm sorry you didn't realize that two years sober wasn't nearly enough; and more sorry you didn't realize most alcoholics cannot drink socially.
If she can't keep an agreement about what time to come home; what makes you think she can keep any agreements or boundaries you make about sex with other men?
My heart aches for both of you.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein
Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)