Have you looked at "the five love languages" book? It could be really useful in determining what your love style is and what hers is. It sounds like you really need her to do some stuff to feel as if you are loved, and she needs stuff to feel loved. You aren't able to give her what others can and she doesn't seem willing or able to do stuff so you feel loved. So what do you do about it? Well, acknowledging that might help. Perhaps having a look at the book will create an opportunity to talk about it more. Then at least you can strategize about ways that you can get your needs met and so can she.
My red flags here are the "free" therapy and the sex she gives out for hand outs. This does not sound healthy or sane. This woman might be the hottest thing on the planet, but giving oneself for free is damaging to the self esteem and not a way to be loved that is healthy... lots of work to do there and I wouldn't at all be surprised if that is the root of the issues... she needs a therapist that is not willing to just give her what she wants. That is really fucked up if you ask me. Something going on there I think.
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